#3 - Mazda Miata
I can totally forgive women for driving one of these, but a man? When I see a man driving this car, usually a bald middle-ager with the top down, he's probably wearing a giant gold watch and a collared shirt. I assume he's hiding a mangina in his taupe pleated "slacks." You've seen him. Get a truck or a classic muscle car, or at least a higher end sports car, wussy boy.
#2 - Chevy HHR
What vehicle is used as a majority of rental cars? This piece of crap. I rented one of these in Tampa once and it smelled like a morbidly obese person who hadn't showered in 72 hours. If it weren't so unbelievably ugly and awful to drive I could have ignored the smell memory in future rental cars. Alas, this thing makes me want to vomit every time I see one. I actually feel sorry for the drivers of this car. It's hideous, a waste of money, and forces me to assume that you have ZERO taste. My husband and I tell rental car agents that we will drive any vehicle but this. (or my 1 and 3 picks).
#1 - Hummer (all models and colors)
Really, anything yellow scores bonus douchebaggery points, but this would be the douchebag of all douchebag vehicles, driven by a man OR a woman. I hate this vehicle with ALL my being, and if it was the last driveable thing on the face of the planet and I had to go 50 miles for food, I would walk and starve. Like, even if in Zombieland conditions, this POS could sit and rot before I would drive it. I assume that you are a total attention whore, you are tasteless, and you have to second mortgage your already overmortgaged house to pay for gas.
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